Most of us spend most of our time doing things. We make breakfast, we work, we keep the house tidy, we go shopping, we improve our homes, we travel, we develop ourselves. We are so used to doing that we define ourselves by what we do. “I’m a doctor”, “I’m a teacher”, “I’m a carpenter”. Because we are so used to doing and to defining ourselves by what we do, it can be difficult to feel good about ourselves when we do not do anything.
I was recently reminded of the difficulty of feeling good enough for being rather than doing when my daughter was born. Although I meditate, practise mindfulness and other practices that develops my ability to “just be”, I was surprised when the days passed so quickly without me having done anything. Life with my newborn was all about breastfeeding, comforting her when she was crying and trying to get some sleep whenever possible. I was used to setting and accomplishing goals in each category of my life (work, family, friends, health etc.) every day. This did not fit into my new life with my young daughter. I had to learn to feel great about myself even though I was “only” taking care of my child (and what could be more important?!).
Most of us probably know that we are good enough, but we don’t feel it. We need to practise it to learn to know it not just in our heads but also in our hearts.